I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
