4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
