so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
There's always time for handjobs
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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