HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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