So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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