I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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