Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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