So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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