woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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