your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
