she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
