I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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