Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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