My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
