When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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