Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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