peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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