If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
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