JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
