So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
And then he peed in my hair
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