i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
