Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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