no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
