I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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