Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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