Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
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