I wanna passion pit in your ass
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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