Umm I'm too high to move.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
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