He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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