Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
