worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
