Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We are two peas in an std pod
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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