he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
