My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
