I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
