I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
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Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
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The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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