theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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