The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
