i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Panties = found
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
