My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
me + whiskey = a bad person
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
