ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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