no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize