Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
honey bunches of taint.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
