Texts From Last Night

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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.

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  (314): I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt. http://tfl.nu/c3u1
  Replies (4) Good night (721) Bad night (958)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.

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  (563): I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever. http://tfl.nu/ydd6
  Replies (20) Good night (1099) Bad night (4613)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.

  (206): View more from Washington

  High?

  (425): View more from Washington

  hahahahaha turkey breast

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  (425): ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector. (206): High? (425): hahahahaha turkey breast http://tfl.nu/8hm7
  Replies (41) Good night (3725) Bad night (713)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.

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  (847): i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick. http://tfl.nu/gssh
  Replies (20) Good night (3846) Bad night (1285)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.

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  (703): You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason. http://tfl.nu/7b14
  Replies (12) Good night (3733) Bad night (1273)
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  (415): View more from California

  there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am

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  (415): there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am http://tfl.nu/m06t
  Replies (2) Good night (1014) Bad night (2333)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.

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  (910): I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome. http://tfl.nu/hxzm
  Replies (3) Good night (1790) Bad night (764)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite

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  (250): I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite http://tfl.nu/yccl
  Replies (4) Good night (1205) Bad night (1253)
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  (516): View more from New York

  its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.

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  (516): its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/1ovr
  Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (1363)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.

  (1-806): View more from Texas

  It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.

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  (806): It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation. (1-806): It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that. http://tfl.nu/9jn5
  Replies (13) Good night (2027) Bad night (870)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them

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  (603): I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them http://tfl.nu/lutq
  Replies (8) Good night (610) Bad night (399)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses

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  (802): I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses http://tfl.nu/9pm9
  Replies (4) Good night (797) Bad night (887)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand

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  (403): Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand http://tfl.nu/zc4q
  Replies (1) Good night (694) Bad night (311)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?

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  (516): Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles? http://tfl.nu/3kx7
  Replies (2) Good night (289) Bad night (593)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.

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  (941): Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested. http://tfl.nu/uoo2
  Replies (2) Good night (202) Bad night (578)

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