I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher