Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize