Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(408): View more from California

carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.

(415): View more from California

be there in 3 mins

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(585): View more from New York

She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.

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(661): View more from California

I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.

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(614): View more from Ohio

My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.

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(708): View more from Illinois

YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY

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(226): View more from Ontario

Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16

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