Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he wasnt completely random

  (914): View more from New York

  you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i get things done.

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  (201): he wasnt completely random (914): you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont (201): i get things done. http://tfl.nu/5ew9
  Replies (14) Good night (1177) Bad night (427)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.

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  (215): I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons. (267): I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner. http://tfl.nu/vxtv
  Replies (12) Good night (1017) Bad night (4510)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car

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  (970): so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car http://tfl.nu/skxr
  Replies (22) Good night (7044) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.

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  (250): she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying. http://tfl.nu/nbti
  Replies (19) Good night (967) Bad night (3920) Order T-Shirt
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever

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  (231): Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever http://tfl.nu/plkd
  Replies (1) Good night (4842) Bad night (736) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home

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  (805): we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home http://tfl.nu/wods
  Replies (17) Good night (912) Bad night (7744) Order T-Shirt
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "

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  (207): She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? " http://tfl.nu/wyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (5449) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract

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  (215): I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract http://tfl.nu/jt8l
  Replies (2) Good night (2251) Bad night (794) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.

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  (253): The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case. http://tfl.nu/nkd8
  Replies (2) Good night (2009) Bad night (920)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.

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  (508): I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver. http://tfl.nu/smcq
  Replies (1) Good night (1187) Bad night (368)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?

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  (540): (540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable? http://tfl.nu/oc1y
  Replies (4) Good night (746) Bad night (396)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.

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  (662): I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck. http://tfl.nu/9thm
  Replies (4) Good night (247) Bad night (480) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard

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  (843): And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married (1-843): That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard http://tfl.nu/54cc
  Replies (4) Good night (622) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you

  (289): View more from Ontario

  Is that a sex thing?

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  (647): I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you (289): Is that a sex thing? http://tfl.nu/v8ys
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (212)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?

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  (405): Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50? http://tfl.nu/w6wp
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (101) Order T-Shirt

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