remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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