Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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