Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I've blown a few things in my day
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
you will always have a special place in my vag
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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