Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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