apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
