He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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