It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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