He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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