You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
