he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
