u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
