Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
