He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Randomize
